I have this problem of saying stupid things.
There was the time I was shopping for bras at the outlet malls in Williamsburg. I knew there were two different Maidenform stores--- for different sized women. I walked into one and asked the clerk if this was the store selling the "normal" sized bras. She, who happened to be bountiful in every way physically, replied, "I prefer to say 'average,' because otherwise that would mean I'M abnormal."
There was the time I spoke at USC's large group meeting about the book of Ruth. I was trying to explain the cultural background of the interaction between Ruth and Boaz... trying to explain how she wasn't asking for sex. All appropriate words describing sex vacated my mind... including intercourse, making love, even the word "sex" itself. Instead what bumbled out of my mouth to these young and previously innocent college students was "She wasn't trying to get him to.... do the nasty." Where I had heard that phrase I had no idea. Probably some movie I saw as a teenager from which I buried the phrase for such a time as this.
And yesterday I did it again. This time in the privacy of my own home. Home alone with the boys, I was eager to get out of the for a few minutes while Justin slumbered during his afternoon nap. I carried Nathan to the back of the house to check out the work being done on our addition. As I admired their work, I noticed our contractor was the only one there today, which was unusual. Without thinking, I asked him, "So are you here alone?" Right after it came out of my mouth, I realized it could sound like a come on. Especially since it was obvious that I was home with only the boys. I quickly gave a few complements of the work and made my way back to the front of the house.
Gives me lots of blog fodder for years to come!
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2 comments:
i just returned from a walk and was trying to figure out why you would have never heard that story, since you were obviously at furman then. then i remembered that you were a freshman at the time, so i would have DIED before telling you that story. it was a couple years before i started telling you everything! :) wk after for a phone date is grand.
I've never heard that story, and I was a jaded, worldly junior...and the Exec team leader for cryin' out loud! Or maybe you told me and I was just too absorbed in my own miserable little world. Either way, I needed the laugh today. Thanks!
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