Hi there!
I've not had the blog vibes of late. I've been motivated to work on some things around here when I've had those "free" moments.
Some things I've been working on:
--helped to throw party for a friend which was way special and fun. great to see more of her world and was a great excuse to provide chocolate from my favorite place. think dark chocolate with raspberries, dark with toffee, dark with espresso, dark with trail mix, dark with mint. it's sad i just wrote just as much about the chocolate as i did about my friend and the party.
--yesterday i cooked 4 spinach mushroom quiches to freeze, made this yummy cauliflower dish with cream cheese... totally did NOT taste like cauliflower!, cooked several other veggies including baby food for nathan, etc. i get in these "sprints" where i wipe out lots on my to-do lists. and then i'll crash for a few days. i definitely don't pace myself well but that's just how i'm wired i'm realizing!
--i've also been in a little season of longing for adult conversation and community a bit more than usual. after nathan was born, i was like, "give me a play date today or i'm going to scream!" i realized i needed to be more content home with the boys- since that is where i wanted to be, so i worked on staying home and pushing through those hard places-- not calling someone to come over or throwing them in the car and the first gut urge to do so... and thankfully the Lord worked on my me and gave me a content heart. i began to embrace the space and the gift of time with them so much more deeply. i found myself not living for nap times and all that.
but i'm a little back in that place. perhaps i was so thankful for this new season but then started to wrongly think i was "done." perhaps i thought i, the extrovert, would no longer struggle with the inevitable isolation that comes with staying home with kids. and perhaps i started leaning on my own strength for my peace. well, i'm back longing for adult conversation a bit more than in a healthy way. while it's certainly good to long for community, i can feel the difference (usually) when i'm longing for that community to meet my needs more than than going to the Lord for that. it starts to become an idol.
funny thing is that i've had lots of time with friends lately. it's interesting how the needs of our flesh can be insatiable... we chase after other things and those things never do meet the long-term itch.
--I've enjoyed going through the Sonship course with an amazing small group of women from my church who all live on my side of town. we are mostly in different stages in life so it's been a gift to learn from them and become better known by them. The course has been a great way to see my need for the Gospel every day and for that I've been grateful. I might expound more on that another day.
--we're working on helping nathan sleep better at night... he's gotten in a bad-habit-zone. he's doing much better but now i'm having a hard time sleeping! so i've been dragging around in super-fatigue world for a few weeks now.
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There are other things of course going on but i'll stop with that. thanks for reading all the lowercased letters and rambling! Blessing to you all!
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5 comments:
I think there is some real validity in needing community and struggling with the isolation of being a SAHM. Moms used to do this child raising thing in community. They got together to cook, to sew, to can vegetables. And they were recognized for their achievements by the other women around them. They had adult interaction while their children played. They were committed homemakers, but the settledness of community allowed them to do it together.
Alas, we no longer live in small farming communities where people get together to do those sorts of things. We live is isolation city. Playgroups help but don't quite fulfill the need.
I am really struggling with this idea of settling into mommyhood these days, so thanks for your reminder that this is a chance to look to the Lord to meet my needs that aren't being met. I still know that I can't go this alone, so I am trying to think creatively about how to make a home in community. Not just to go to playgroup because I am about to lose my mind. But to get together to practice the art of homemaking and encourage one another. What would that look like?
Okay, I just need to shut up and go write my own post!
great comment, 2sqmeals. yeah, it's difficult to reeeallly live in community as a mostly sahm. i didn't even get into all that, so i appreciate your bringing it up. my wanting to find my contentment in the Lord certainly doesn't negate the fact that living in community is a great thing... as long as i don't seek it first as i'm prone to do.
plz write a post on being mommy in community at some point. i like your thoughts here and want to hear more.
Rach, I love your thoughts and that you're open about your struggle. It's hard to put the Lord before our "need" for community. I understand that struggle. But I also believe in what 2squaremeals was saying, we weren't meant to do this alone, in isolation. I think it is so fruitful for us and for our children if we interact with other families. As long as we're not putting our identity in the person or group, or seeking our significance from them, I think it is a very healthy thing. So get your friends together to make cauliflower casserole and do the ironing! :) Shoot, I'll drive up and spend the day with you! I'll even bring my ironing, that's been accumulating for several months!
Love you Rachel. I'm screaming back to the blog, ooh, I want to give you adult conversation! Well, know that I have that desire. I got to go to Pizza Hut at a nearby mall to my language school with my teammate Rhianna and have some "adult conversation". Still kinda trying to figure out whats happening here, so when asked how I am, I stare blankly.
I will pray for you to have more adult conversation. so glad you have that Sonship group. I love you!!!
Love you girl-- so good to hear your voice and heart the other day for a few minutes.
As you know, the whole isolation thing has another dimension for me. I am so glad for the God who knows us, who can hold the both/and of His sufficiency and our need for sisters and brothers in the journey in His hands.
I love you in the seeking for discernment in the messiness-- when are we running to something as opposed to feeling a legit need?
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