Art in the Family

Hi everyone. I'm breaking my blog silence (ever so briefly) to invite you to check out Doug's new craft. It seems that he just couldn't put the hammer and nail down after our house was finished. He found himself creating art with function in our little corner of the world. Check it out!

And if I could add another shameless family plug, look here for the boys' newly displayed art around our home. Fun! Fun!

Purging

Earlier this week I felt like a collage. A collage of pasta, milk jug tops, cut up construction paper, and pipe cleaners. (Can you tell I have toddler art on the brain?)

A collage of to-do lists, of reflecting, of a feeling of something unsettling. I couldn't put my finger on how I was feeling, much less figure out what was causing it. So, I just felt like a messy collage walking around in this Mommy body.

Rather suddenly, a light has turned on in my mind and heart. As I've been able to see through the fog, I now want to purge a few areas of my life. This Mommy collage is too cluttered... so like an early spring cleaning (what's that?), I'm throwing out some extras that are clouding my view of and connections in this world.

One flipping of the switch was this post... one blogger's exit from the blogosphere and why. Thanks to Sara for the recommendation. By the way, I didn't love everything she said, her last sentence was particularly annoying, just to get my 2 cents in. However, I recommend that you read it... not that I'm trying to get everyone to quit... but just to listen to her challenging words. I most appreciated what she said about looking your kids in the eye when they "interrupt" you while you're online, her tendency to get bogged down by the good stuff, how less is better, and how she found herself googling instead of praying. I would add to that notion that a huge added bonus to less internet for me is to start using my thoughts and questions as excuses to move closer in relationship with a person whom I know happens to be an expert on the subject.

While talking to Doug about this last night, we discussed how we've forgotten how to really wait. We're in a culture where everything arrives on a silver platter (or whatever kind of platter that you so desire) in 2 hours or less. For me, I think living part of my life in the internet world has fed this impatient tendency in me. It used to be that a letter was written, the recipient received it months later, and so on. I'm not one to think all was better in the "good ole days," but I do think I can learn something here. I have gotten so used to quick responses and quick information-finding, to my detriment.

And I even find myself sharing about my blogging conversations with my flesh-and-blood friends... like they really care, you know?

Now that the light is on, I'm more aware of how often I tend to check for comments- both on my blogs and others I read, how often I find myself making an observation/having an insightful thought and then first crafting the next post in my mind instead of praying/sharing with a friend/further personal reflection, or actually putting the idea into practice. I've just gotten all out of wack. (I guess I simply need some more wack in my life!)

Like the above blogger shared, there is a wealth of wonderful information online, but I'm at the point where it feels more paralyzing then helpful. I don't need more information, I need more time to chew on and live out the information already in my head.

I'm ready to spend less time staring at a computer screen and more time cuddling up next to my husband with my knitting needles, a good book (what's that?) or magazine, or a good conversation. Sitting on my couch last night, I stared awhile at the pleasant view that is our den. I enjoyed the family pictures, the kids' books, Doug's newly made coat racks, and especially Justin's and Nathan's newly hung art work. (I was going to do a post on that one too, but you'll just have to ask me more about that in person if that interests you!) I look forward to enjoying the view under this roof even more.

A dear friend recently made this decision. It's funny, at the time, I thought I was nowhere near leaving. I had all kinds of ideas of new posts, of even adding labels to past posts, etc. She shared of feeling "lighter," and honestly, inwardly I thought, "that's nice." But now that I'm at this place, I could use that same word to describe the glimpse of what I'm seeing in my future as well. That sentence probably sounded hokey- allow me to clarify. I'm catching a vision for how my life could look different than it does currently and I really really like it. It includes a less racey mind, a more patient heart, diving into some hobbies that have gotten pushed away, and generally living in a more restful, more present way.

Is this it, forever?? I'm not ready to make that kind of decision. For now, I'm simply going to make myself stay away for a month or so and then reevaluate. I trust that the Lord will give me wisdom at that point whether to return with more boundaries or to stay away longer, or forever. What I'll miss the most is connecting with my friends who live far away, especially those overseas. I just might have to keep checking in with you all from time to time. But I find some immediate comfort knowing most of you are coming home "soon" anyway!

Thanks for enjoying this part of my life with me... and thanks for sharing your's with me as well! Blessings to all of you!

Chocolate Giveaway

Need I say more?

Toddler Art

Hi friends, I don't have it in me for a regular post today, but wanted to at least mention something for your interest. Have you checked out Jean's blog Artful Parent yet? Now would be a great time! She's hosting a book giveaway about toddlers and art, written by her favorite author on the subject.

I really enjoy Jean's blog. Recent topics I've particularly enjoyed are When Will My Child Begin to Draw Realistic Images?, Jean's Top 10 Art Materials for Toddlers, Fine Art for Kids' Rooms?, and of course all the posts that feature pictures or art of my boys.

The Gospel and the Environment, Part II

Having offered a brief critique of aspects of the green movement, I want to be clear that I am not chastising the entire movement. Rather, I have been chastised by it! These 2 posts are an attempt for me to communicate, and as a verbal processer, even better understand my own thinking on this journey from apathetic exploiter to steward.


I have not been moved by a simple desire to conform to the current culture, nor by the discovery of an 11th commandment, but by a deep conviction that the good-news that Jesus proclaimed offers real hope, even a better hope (than a simply pragmatic "let's do it because it's better for us in the long term" approach) to our relationship with the physical world.

This conviction starts with the reality that the ecological crisis we face today (even apart from global climate change) results almost exclusively from human ignorance and greedy exploitation. It is clear that our minds and ultimately our hearts have been the problem. In Pollution and the Death of Man, Francis Schaeffer succinctly states that in treating the land properly we have to make choices in 2 areas: time and money. I know that my heart is inclined to always try to do more in less time and with less money. Earth friendly practices usually require more than I am willing to give.

From a Biblical perspective, this directly results from The Fall and our broken relationship with our Creator. He created us and tasked us with the stewardship of the physical world. When Adam and Eve disobeyed the one command God had given them, they not only experienced brokenness in their relationship with their Maker, but also in every relationship, including their relationship to the physical world. Whether you take Genesis 1- 3 to be historical narrative or not, the themes conveyed are clear: We were made to walk in perfect communion with God, one another and the created world. Our self-centered disobedience broke that communion.


The good-news of Jesus is that he is restoring the relationships that have been broken by the fall. By dealing directly with the effects of our self-centered disobedience, he restores us to a right relationship with our Creator. In doing that, he unites all his followers into one body and brings them into right relationships...loving and truthful relationships with one other. And what has the most bearing in this discussion is that once we've been brought into a right relationship with our Creator, we can be in right relationship to the physical world that he made.


Again, Schaeffer is helpful here when he describes that people in proper relationship to their Creator have ceased trying to exalt themselves over the creation. From a Biblical perspective, we are unlike the rest of creation in that we alone, of all the creatures, have been made in God's image and are thus able to relate to Him in a personal way. But from that same Biblical perspective, we are also like the rest of creation in that we too are created and are not God. This has helped me think about my connection to the trees and the birds in our yard. They are in one sense my brothers and sisters, for like them, I have been created.

But I am not simply a part of the creation. I am also created in God's image. That is why dominion and stewardship are given to us. We can have a relationship with our Creator, and as we know Him, we can properly exercise stewardship and dominion over His creation. Lynn White, in the article i referenced in the last post, justifiably points out that the Church historically has not exercised proper stewardship, but has tended to exploit (a self-centered dominion) the physical world. Unfortunately, we as followers of Christ do not always properly know our God or His call on our lives.


This was my story for the first 13 years of my life as a Christian. I was ignorant of the negative influence my decissions had upon the environment around me. I viewed calls to eco-conscious living with suspicion and even contempt, erroneously thinking that it was just an agenda to get Democrats elected or a "misplaced" desire to save the world. (I have since stopped listening to the Republican pundits and paying more attention to the value in both parties.) Those were my surface reasons. But underneath, I just didn't want to take the time or spend the money. Part of me still doesn't. Life seems easier if we just do what is convenient. Only in the last couple years, as i've interacted more with the green movement, have I begun to realize that the environment is something that I should care about because I care about the Creator.

It's crystal clear now. I mentioned at the top of this post that my desire to live a more environmentally friendly life doesn't come from a new 11th commandment. It actually comes from the one about loving God. John Stott, in The Care of Creation, says "God intends...our care of the creation to reflect our love for the Creator." This is what i mean by having a transcendent ethic for green living. Pragmatism eventually breaks down because we need a reason bigger than ourselves to live for something besides ourselves. Being rightly related to the Creator, and caring for the physical world as His creation provides the "meaningful underpinning" Missy referred to in a recent comment. All created things have intrinsic value because God made them. So now, myself and my family are taking small steps.

We are beginning to made decisions that we think would honor the Creator. We recycle more consistently, not primarily to preserve the earth for ourselves or our grandchildren, but because we live before the Creator who calls us to honor him by caring for His creation. We are planting a vegetable garden this summer. I want to grow and care for these vegetables in eco-friendly ways in part because I think that is better for my family, but largely because that garden belongs to God, not me.


Think of it like this. If a good friend of yours asks you to house-sit their mansion on the hill, would you finger paint the walls, dump your trash in their dining room, shit in the bathtub, and burn their couches in the fireplace because they produce a nice green flame? If you didn't like the person, you probably would. If you didn't really know the person, you might. But because you love the person and know they love you, you wouldn't dream of it. God has called us to "house-sit" his creation. And since Christ has restored us to a right relationship with him, one where we love Him because He first loved us, we want to care well for his creation.

That is the hope that I believe the gospel uniquely provides. It doesn't just give good reasons to take care of the creation. It doesn't tell me that it's better for me, or my children or my country. It doesn't tell me to do it so that God will love me. It tells me how to be forgiven and to experience the love God already has for me. It restores me to a relationship with my Creator and it's that relationship that changes my heart and motivates me to care for His creation.

A Brief Aside

Okay, so prompted by several comments, i wanted to mention an idea I've been chewing on. Like Amy and Missy, I've been more aware of the amount of waste we produce. We recycle, as do most folks on our street and that's wonderful. But everyone of us fills up the large city issue trash cans each week.

I think that if there were no landfill, and each person had to keep their garbage on their own property (much like it would've been in the not too distant past) we would all be a lot more sensitive about the waste we produce. But as it is now, I'm basically throwing my trash into someone else's backyard. Out of sight, out of mind.

Practically speaking, i think landfills are a necessity. I just don't see any practical way around them. But I think the city could do a better job of making us aware of the impact of our waste. They can't make me keep it in my back yard, but they can hit me in my wallet. We already pay a flat fee for trash removal. Why not charge us per pound of trash? The city already uses a mechanical arm to lift the trash into the truck. I don't think it would be too hard to add a mechanism to weigh the refuse and a computer to track the address.

Now, I'm generally not for motivating people in this manner. In fact it's a little self-centered and pragmatic. I would prefer that my heart be persuaded more by faith and conviction than by a little greed. But when we talk about instituting policies that govern a society, I'm all for a little prudent manipulation.

Think about it. If you new you could reduce your trash bill $10 a month by composting, recycling more and by buying products that used less packaging, wouldn't you?
I find it hard to believe that such a simple idea hasn't been proposed and even implemented in other communities. Please tell me if it has and how it has fared.

Still working on Part II

The Gospel and the Environment, Part I

My dear wife introduced me to you a few weeks ago. I've been hiding ever since and have finished this blog post after an appropriate bribe, and in a desire to prepare for a panel discussion I'll be participating in this coming Thursday.

Over the last 5 years, we've grown to appreciate the passions of our city and university. Some we do not want to share, but many are passions we are growing to appreciate and even embrace. One in particular is eco-conscious living. In the midst of a country that has gone green, it has been hard to not breathe in the purified air.

While we have been motivated largely by a growing conviction that we are stewards of the physical world, I have begun to ask 2 questions in particular about this green brigade we seem to be joining.

Are there assumptions and motivations that the popular eco-conscious movement is based upon that I as a follower of Christ cannot stand upon?

And secondly: Does the Gospel offer a better paradigm from which to address the brokenness of the physical world? This question has stemmed from a larger journey in which I've developed the conviction that the gospel offers real hope for all people, communities and systems that are marred by sin.

In this post, I want to address the first question and examine the assumptions and motivations under girding the popular green movement. I do so from a humble beginning though, acknowledging that I as a follower of Christ stand with sap on my hands. I, who believe that my Father in Heaven created the world and called us to steward it for His glory, have turned a deaf ear for too long to the cries of those who could see our physical world being exploited and neglected. I am thankful that the Lord has seen fit to rebuke me through a movement that doesn't necessarily believe in Him. I also need to state that i recognize that there is justifiable blame to lay at the feet of the Church over the last Milena for the current ecological crisis.
For more on this, read the article The Historical Roots of our Ecological Crisis by Lynn White.


I'm going to stay away from examining the reality of the crisis. There is still much debate about the degree to which humans are creating global climate change. It's a healthy debate that I am keenly interested in. But it has no bearing on this discussion for there are many ecological "crises" that exist independently of global climate change and therefore deserve our attention.


First, i am wary of the way in which eco-consciousness has become a form of Self-Righteousness. I've heard of too many conversations about green-living devolve into comparisons aimed at proving one's merit. "How often did you ride your bike to work this month?" "I even rinsed off the aluminum foil and recycled it." And then there is the Ford Escape commercial where the girl is ashamed to go to a party with her dad and his gas guzzling SUV. But wait...it's not...it's a hybrid. Now this peer-conscious-teen feels okay about being seen in her dad's car. Commercials are certainly not the definitive word on our motivations, but ad agencies aren't paid to be idiots...they know what people want. We want to be seen as eco-conscious. It's become the way to sell groceries, clothes, cars and homes. I'm not faulting the green practices of the product makers, but rather this appeal to a desire that "My ass be always greener than the other guy's."

Lord knows that we, His followers don't need to add another form of self-righteousness to our significant collection.


Now, I want to take a moment to mention carbon offset companies such as TerraPass. The general idea is that this company helps you calculate your carbon footprint and balance it out through the purchase of verified carbon offsets (which is basically money that funds carbon reduction research). Intriguing idea, and I'm glad the money goes to research. But think with me about this for a minute. When I decide that I can't (or don't want to) reduce my carbon footprint any further, I buy a terra pass carbon offset so that I can fund efforts to reduce carbon emissions. I allow myself to indulge in my current lifestyle by giving money to this program. Does that sound like modern day Indulgences to anyone else? Am I being a tad harsh? Some people will not use the carbon offset programs in that manner. But many will b/c it's easier to throw money at this than change one's lifestyle. Unless you're poor. What if you don't have the money to buy a carbon offset? In many ways this sounds like a means to easing the conscience of wealthier Americans who are greener in theory than in practice.

I am not doggin' the idea of funding research. But I'm struck by the more subtle reality that this is a conscience-easing-tonic for many who are choosing to not reduce their carbon footprint further. This observation has caused me to turn the same eye to my heart and examine where I've substituted trade-offs for true obedience and creation care.


Finally, I want to speak briefly to the fundamental ethic behind much of the environmental movement today. "Why should we take care of the planet?" What response would you give? What response do you most frequently hear? The most common answer I hear is that one enjoys the world and wants to preserve it for that enjoyment, or that one wants to preserve it for another's enjoyment (usually their children's children).


I'm not a philosopher, but it seems to me that this ethic is a self-centered utilitarianism. Do I hear a "so what?" out there. Well, I hear one from myself. However, I am becoming convinced though that the problem is with the lack of real transcendence. I believe that for an ethic to remain, it must transcend human desire...be rooted to something outside of ourselves. What happens if what I enjoy becomes a real problem for someone else? What if I can preserve what I and later generations would enjoy while still exploiting other parts of the created order? What would make that wrong?


Many recognize the weakness of this foundation and so argue for a combined effort between science and religion to combat global climate change. While I do not agree with the content of his argument, E.O. Wilson illustrates this approach in his book, The Creation - An Appeal to Save Life on Earth. One long-standing synthesis of these 2 is a pantheistic approach to environmental care...a belief that all things are sacred because god, or the universal spirit is in all things. While this view does provide a transcendent ethic, it is not compatible with Jesus' teaching about the nature of God and the physical world.


So, as a follower of Christ, i am learning from those of various ideologies who have blazed the trail before me, but i do so with a self-examining eye. I want to take real responsibility as a steward and walk humbly before my Creator, not in self-righteousness and not simply for how it benefits me. My next post will look more at the hope that the gospel offers for a physical world marred by sin.

Proud Mama

Check out Justin's first "published" art!! We're proud over here and can't wait to hang it up in the house.

What Do Girly Time, Birth Control, and Family Vision Have in Common?

Do you need some more girly time in your life?
I do! Missy and I are trying to decide between the liquor store and the pawn shop so that we can have said getaway. (I linked her, showing I'm a little in denial that she's leaving the blog world.) Want to join us? Where should we go?

Birth Control. Want to hear the Catholics and the Protestants dook it out? No, seriously. Over here, you'll see a frank but very gracious conversation as we all bring our questions and thoughts to the table. Stop by and leave yours.

And lastly, I am very intrigued and excited about the possibility of creating a Family Vision Statement, as exampled here by a dear friend. I'm thankful he published his. Maybe we'll get to this after we marinate all the raw chicken I bought on sale, catch up on scrap booking, reply to some important emails from dear friends who have been buried in my inbox, catch up on sleep, etc.etc.etc.

So, after I wrote all of this, I realize now that these 3 subjects do- in actuality- relate... how interesting...

Let It Give You Chills Again

I pray these words will never become trite in my heart and mind.

I'm honored to have a brother in my Church heritage that would love Jesus enough to love his neighbor in such full, sacrificial, generous, real, Biblical, and challenging ways.

His neighbor was me and my family, which is so convicting.

But I don't stay immersed in the guilt. I let him give me hope for love... love horizontally on this earth and love vertically back and forth from Heaven. Let's allow his words to give us hope once again.

Considering Birth in America

Today I had the opportunity to see the film The Business of Being Born. It's a documentary of birth in America, produced by Ricki Lake. After some negative experiences during the birth of her first child, she began to ask lots of questions about birth and the culture of birth in America. Her research led her to "do birth" completely differently with her second child as well as to create this documentary... in the hopes of bringing to the surface these questions and challenge the status quo of birth in America. This documentary is a history of birth in our country, a collage of birth stories, interviews with obs/midwives/advocates/etc., statistics that make you think, and much more.

This film left me mourning, considering, celebrating.

I mourn that my own grandmother had an experience much like the women I learned about in the 40's. She gave birth to my mother alone (fathers such as my grandfather, a pediatrician by the way, were not allowed in the room with the mothers). She was tied to her bed... now I realize this procedure was probably done in order to "keep women and staff safe" during their encounters with drug induced Twilight Sleep. She was confused, afraid, unable to remember what was happening to her, dehumanized. During her labor experience, my grandmother was often told by the nurses to shut up if she were screaming. "Recovery" included weeks of lying flat on her back... a couple in the hospital and several out. It's a wonder anyone had more than one child and survived all the issues initiated by such an experience. I hurt for her and other women who had no other choice but to experience birth in this way.

I consider... in 50 years, what are the harmful aspects of the current birth system that will bring more such aforementioned mourning? What are the pieces of it that we have bought into as a society, the pieces our eyes are too dulled to see? What are the pieces of it that I have bought into? Lord willing, Doug and I will someday get to add to our family. How might we alter our birth choices to better suit our desires and the well being of our baby and of me?

And thankfully, I also celebrate. I celebrate that our God created women to be able to participate in one of the most glorious events ever imagined, birthing children into this world. I'm thankful that God has graced me to be one of them. I celebrate our sons and the beautiful aspects of both Justin's and Nathan's births. I thank God for the ways that those births were transformative for the intimacy I get to share with my husband.

Hair Thoughts and Introducing

This is really tempting me right now. Maybe it's because I'm due a haircut. Maybe it's because I could wear all those really cute scarves and headbands. Maybe it's because I'm drawn to the philosophy. Are you tempted at all?

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And introducing a guest poster...
I have invited my dear husband Doug to share with us some grass he's been chewing on the past couple months. We're blessed to work for an organization that greatly values continued learning... so he's had the opportunity to read about and ponder our stewardship of Creation from a variety of sources. Check back in the coming days for his debut post... and welcome him in his virgin blog post!

Eating Cheaply and Healthily

We are always trying to come up with new ways to eat more healthy and more cheaply. Towards that end, I just found a gold mine of blog posts about this topic. Check out this blog post and then follow the links and then follow the links from there... you can go on forever! I'm excited to sit down and really consider lots of these ideas. Those posts run laps around my following dinky ideas.

Here are some ways we save money at the grocery store:

We play the Grocery Game. Using this service, today I bought Smuckers Jelly for .30, Pam Olive Oil Cooking Spray for .80, and 1 lb of fresh Tyson boneless skinless chicken breasts for .98, Russell Stover Private Reserve dark chocolate for.50 (a girl's gotta splurge), and Peter Pan Peanut Butter 18 oz for free. The GG philosophy is to load up on food items when they are at their lowest price, never buy at regular price unless you have to, etc. This service costs about $1.25/week and they match coupons with local sales. It's not a perfect system but we've saved lots of money and learned a lot about shopping cheaply. And I only have to shop at one store, the grocery store down the street.

Doug dug (I just had to type that) out a space for our new garden. We plan to plant yellow squash, zucchini squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, melons, lettuce, carrots, and probably some herbs. We plan to save lots of money at the store during harvest time... and I plan to freeze and (learn how to) can so we can benefit from the harvest for months to come. This summer, I'll get back to you about how cost effective this was.

The only beverages we buy are milk (albeit it organic for the boys) and orange juice... of which we only drink a small amount with breakfast. Oh yeah, and we do splurge on free trade organic coffee and the occasional bottle of wine. We don't purchase any other juices or sodas.

We try to reserve desserts for really yummy homemade ones and go without at other times.

We sold our 3rd son in order to purchase a Vita Mix (sorry we hadn't mentioned him to you; we didn't want you to bond with each other). We've more than gotten our money back on making Nathan's baby food alone... not to mention all the smoothies, soups, chopping, etc. Instead getting back our 3rd son with the money, we're reinvesting in seeds for the new garden.

The last few months, we've cut eating out down to a family trip to Chic Filet or for a pizza once/month. If Doug and I go out on a date (we mostly "date" at home these days because we're lazy, it's more comfy, it's easier with the kids, and cheaper), we just make it a coffee and dessert or wine/hors devours time.

I've stopped buying convenient snack food like granola bars. I used to think I "needed" those things around for those busy, hungry moments. How ridiculous... if I'm that hungry, then maybe I should take the time to make something more substantial. But actually, I can probably simply wait for the next meal.

We try to eat meat at dinner only 4ish times/week. Other meals, we have meals that include eggs or beans.

We invested in a separate freezer last year so that we can stock pile items when they were at their lowest cost... like meat, veggies, virtually anything really. I've adopted the thought "if I'm going to take the time to cook, then I'm going to cook a lot!" If I decide to make my banana bread, I make 4 loaves and throw them in the freezer. I do the same with large quantities of soup, chili, cake, pies, etc. I'm slowly that you can freeze virtually anything. When we have a busy afternoon or hit a season when we're all sick and we don't feel like cooking, I can run to the freezer to save the day and not run out for a quick (and expensive and unhealthy) meal.

It takes more time and energy to save money at the grocery store... but I get motivated so that our family can eat more healthily, eat more enjoyably, spend that money on other more important things, give more money away, and save more money.

I would love to hear what you do to help save money in the food department!

A Big Boy

Today was a really big day in our home. Today Justin transitioned from crib to big boy bed. I feel quite full of that teary type of joy.

A little background... we just returned from a trip see my mom "aka Beep Beep" while Doug was at a conference. Beep Beep often rides on a train to visit my brother in northern Virginia. Justin gets very excited about any form of transportation... so he often asks to ride with her one day. Beep Beep would reply "when you're bigger, you can ride the train with me." And Justin would reply "I'm getting bigger soon!"

Meanwhile, Beep Beep's city decided to build a whole commuter train system. She planned a trip on the train downtown for lunch during our visit. While approaching the train Justin exclaimed, "I'm a big boy now!"... connecting riding a train with being a big boy... even though we were referring to the big Amtrak kind of train.. but anyway, we went with it. "You are a big boy!"

Justin loves his crib in many ways. It's literally hard to get him out of it in the morning and after nap time... he loves it. Whenever we brought up the idea of a big boy bed, he would say that he liked his bed. All along we had surmised we would wait until he was closer to 3- just a few months from now- for this transition for so many reasons. However, because of his high amount of crib attachment, we figured we should strike while the iron was hot.

With much conversation and excitement, our family traversed on foot to the very local bed and furniture store- literally 2 blocks away. It was worth the extra $30 we spent for this romantic experience in our neighborhood. With Nathan in my ergo and Justin at the front of our little group, we entered the store. When Mr. Fred, the owner, approached us, Justin told him himself that he needed a big boy bed (just the mattress and bunky board, really). Thus started my day with that teary kind of joy.

We made a huge tado about it... well, it IS a big deal ya know!? When we returned, Justin helped Doug put his bed together... Doug with his real screws and screwdriver, Justin with his. We talked about how the mattress came from Mr. Fred the bed man and how the frame was given to us from his big boy cousin Tyler. Knowing this bed was Tyler's made it even more exciting.

He had his last nap in his crib this afternoon, where he actually slept today. Afterwards, we brought in his new bed. We added his new car sheets and the other finishing touches. We had our family time, played some more, read some more. I read him his books and sang him Jesus Loves Me just like always... except tonight for the first time ever, he sang with me through both times! What a sweet little gift. I put him down with head on his pillow and he asked me to pull up his sheet. (He's never had any sheet or blanket or pillow in his crib... just his little blankies and animals... so there were many new things.) He then said, "I'm all tucked in now!"

Doug reminded me later how he's been pretending that little experience from seeing our bed and pillows and from books. I told him how proud I was of him for being in a big boy bed and how much I loved him and that I would see him tomorrow morning when the sun came up. He said he'd see me then too. And then he calmly said, "I'm in my big boy bed" several times. He was so proud of himself and so was I. I left the room with my heart full... full of that teary kind of joy that happens for us mamas at these huge occasions in our babies' lives.

Reflections on Our Christmas

A Little Background

Admittedly, I'm not a big holiday person. I tend to get a bit annoyed by all the hype of every holiday. Everyone seems to get in such a tizzy... only to get expectations unmet. Now that we have children, we've been forced to rethink how we celebrate and not celebrate holidays. My first thought was to just leave out all the annoying things and leave in the few things we do like. My focus was more to push aspects away then to actually have much of a plan of what we would do.


Thanks to Two Square's posts on Advent, Doug and I started rethinking our vision of the Christmas season back in late November. Looking back, I realize how negative I had been to the whole Christmas thing. While we had a few of our own traditions in place, I mostly wanted it just breeze by. I tend to be the kind of person who enjoys being surprised by the fabulous moments hidden in the ordinary every day ones. That's a good thing I want to hold onto... but I also want to better embrace the special moments that can come amidst the special holidays and seasons throughout the year. I don't want to "throw the baby out with the bath water," so to speak.

Reflecting on this Year's Advent and Christmas

All that to say, as we near the end of our Christmas celebrating, I'm deeply thankful to proclaim that my vision of Christmas has been redeemed. In this post, I want to share some choices we made which, for us, led to so many sweet moments in our family. I also want to start a Christmas scrapbook- idea first gained from this lovely friend- to record all that we're learning and experiencing together as a family! I never before cared about such a thing. We end our time together so refreshed and so thankful!

Disclaimer

So I will start here... this might be a bit long. I admit this post might be more for our family than for you or yours. I cherish this blog space as one to reflect and remember. For some reason I'm more apt to write here than in a journal... anyone else like that out there? And at the outset, I want to explain that while I want to write about what we did and why... in no way do I want to preach it as the best way for you or your family. We are absolutely still learning and next year might end up looking a bit differently. Lord, may no self-righteousness fall into these lines. Amen? Amen. Okay, let's get started.

The start of our Advent was much later than we anticipated. A horrible virus befell this home and had us out for the count, one by one, for close to 3 weeks. In some ways, I'm thankful it turned out this way. Ten days of Advent was a good first trial run for us... and it was good to not feel bound by a certain length. Although next year, we hope to try it a bit longer.

Last disclaimer... I came up with none of these ideas alone. Only a few of them are linked, but all of them I stole from somewhere. In that tradition, feel free to steal any of these yourself.

Here are a few things we did:

We were given the Fisher Price Nativity Set which we set up on a low table and let the kids play with. Nathan simply chewed on the characters and clunked them on the floor; Justin enjoyed holding each of them and beginning to play out parts of the Christmas story on his own. It was a big hit with both boys in their own ways.

We bought a second Nativity Set (with which we didn't allow play) to set up in the middle of our dining table. Every morning during Advent, we added another character of the Nativity. Justin really got into the anticipation of who/what would be there each morning. AND it gave us fodder for our Advent time each evening.

Also each morning, we cut a link in a homemade paper chain. Each link had a line to the Christmas story. (Doug wrote the story in ten lines... the same number of days we celebrated Advent.) We read the story to Justin, which usually corresponded somehow to the new character added in the nativity scene. We talked about it briefly and then taped it to a cabinet near our dining table. Each morning, we read the links already opened and then the new one for that day. The theory is that by Christmas, the kids will have the Christmas story learned. Justin didn't have it memorized, but it helped him be more and more aware of the various characters and pieces of the plot. The paper chain added another element of anticipation and was another activity we could participate in together as a family.

At mealtimes, we lit candles to make it feel a bit more special. We told Justin we were lighting candles because of Advent- special time, to help us prepare for Christmas, Jesus' birth day.

At dinnertime, we gathered all the Christmas pictures of friends and family we had received that day and prayed for them briefly. This idea is yet another one that I stole from a family at our church. Adding another anticipation element, we all looked forward to the pictures we would receive from the mailman each day... how many and who they were. It was encouraging to pray together as a family for all those special people. This practice got us praying, blessed the prayed-for ones, helped get our eyes on others during Christmas, and was a little link in the chain to help teach Justin how to pray. We then hung them on a picture hanger on a wall near the dining table.

For Advent time each evening, we sat on the couch together (just before bedtime, pj's on, blankies in hand-- which helped everyone settle) and BRIEFLY talked about the new thing on the table. We asked Justin what was new, then we talked about one simple fact about that thing. For instance, when we added Mary, we talked about how she was thankful to God for having her carry His Son Jesus in her belly. We then read a few pages of a children's Christmas book to highlight Mary. We then prayed very briefly about that. I made a very simple ornament of each night's focus... just copied a simple drawing I found in a book... and then we helped Justin hang it on the tree. (Note: The bulk of our other Christmas decorations and ornaments were already hung on our tree, which we bought, set up, and decorated at the beginning of December.)

Just before Christmas day, I had Justin do some simple "art projects," chalk and markers on paper, that I made into simple Christmas cards for neighbors. Justin and I delivered them... it was a fun and simple (no baking required!) way to connect with our neighbors, for Justin to be involved in caring for others, etc.

So to recap a typical Advent day... in the morning we put out a new piece of the nativity scene we had on the table. We cut a link in the Christmas story paper chain, read all the opened chain links, and then taped the newest link to a cabinet for visibility. At dinnertime, we prayed for the people for whom we received Christmas pictures that day. In the evening, we talked again about the new element of the nativity scene on the table, read a few pages from a Christmas story that related to the other parts of the day, and hung the newest ornament onto the tree... and we talked and prayed briefly about all of that.

Evaluation of our Advent Time
Advent time became a very special time for our family. It helped Doug and I by helping us reread and think through the Christmas story. We enjoyed the chance to talk and relearn the story and its truths. It was helpful to our own faith to be forced to explain these truths in simple ways. It was precious to see Justin get so excited about that time... as simple as it was.

Another thing I was struck by was how kid-friendly the Christmas story actually is. I know that might sound silly, but think about it... the star, all the animals, the long travelling everyone did, the presents, a Baby, etc. There really are many things kids can connect with and enjoy in this Story. Seeing anew through Justin's eyes helped Doug and me realize once again how special It is. And because of all these elements interesting to kids, it is really not hard to peak their interest.

Are there other Advent practices you especially enjoyed incorporating into your family? What did you do and how did it benefit your family?

Christmas Eve/ Day

Christmas Eve, we read some Scripture from the Christmas story... which was special and also ended up being hilarious. Doug and I exchanged the bulk of our presents Christmas Eve after the boys were in bed so that we could have our own little intimate time. We sipped on homemade apple cider- a previously held tradition of ours and had quiet time for Doug and me.

On Christmas morning, we presented Justin with the full nativity scene, which he was so stoked about. We cut the last link in the paper chain and read all our links. We made a chocolate pie (I used that recipe except I used real whipped cream- of course!), added candles to it, and sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. We were all pretty excited to eat chocolate pie for dessert after breakfast. We then made Christmas cards for each other (another previously held tradition in our family)... very simple but fun. Then, we proceeded to the den where we opened the gifts and the stockings.

We had downplayed the whole present-thing through all of Advent, so Justin didn't wake up Christmas morning knowing we would open presents... that's why we were able to some other things before present-opening. However, I know as he gets older he will certainly pick up on this sooner. I'm not sure if we'll do this part differently or not in the future.

We limited ourselves to buying 3 smallish presents for the boys (+ a few small stocking stuffers)... in the tradition of the wise men's bringing 3 presents to Jesus. Another tradition that we stole, this was definitely more of an accountability for us. If I had the money, I would be tempted to buy the world for the boys. I don't have the money, but I would probably find a way to spend more than would be good for them or for our wallet. This limit was good for us... on Christmas morning, I had totally forgotten the other gifts I wanted to buy for them. And the boys of course were so content with their $7 car carrier and other small presents... and oh, all that wrapping paper. We talked about how we give gifts both because that was the wise men's response to Jesus's birth and also because God gave us the best gift of all by sending Jesus.

So Brett, to answer your question about how we balanced the Santa part of Christmas with the real Christmas story... the answer is that we didn't. We aren't crazy about a lot of the traditions surrounding Santa, so we just skipped them. It seemed too hard to us to have 2 different things going on that seemed to us so opposing. However, many people I respect practice the Santa traditions, so I would welcome them to comment on how they've been able to maintain that balance during their Christmas celebrations. This book might touch on this topic... but I haven't read it so I'm not sure.

Family Christmas Time
Advent time spilled into "Family Christmas Time," which started on Christmas day... where we continued to talk about Jesus, now focusing on celebrating, thanking God for the Gospel, and talking about the implications in our daily life- for instance, being thankful to God now for sending Jesus because He loves us, loving our neighbor, etc. We kept all our Christmas decorations up for a week after Christmas to help us all remember that we were still celebrating Christmas... drawing from the tradition of the "Twelve Days of Christmas."
I would love to hear ways you and/or your family celebrated Christmas together that were especially meaningful.

Regular Family Worship Time
We had not previously been doing any "family worship" or prayer time together, mostly because we really didn't know how to do that or if it was really necessary. Knowing our children are growing up in a ministry-as-vocation family, we wanted to be sensitive to the fact that they are around ministry a lot. We didn't want to stuff spiritual stuff down their throats. However, now we are realizing that it's our students who are involved in ministry, our children aren't directly a part of that... and aren't benefiting except by having fun at gatherings with our students occasionally. We now have vision for the importance of living out our spiritual lives as a family, not just as individuals. And there are ways to do that without stuffing it down their throats. We're excited to share with them really good news about who God is and what He has done/is doing for us. Practicing Advent and "Family Christmas Time" gave us a framework of how that time can look on a regular basis. Having to practice looking at one story in Scripture gave us the confidence and vision to look at others with our family. And it gave us fodder to draw from throughout the day when other things came up that reminded us of the Story. If you do some sort of "Family Worship" on a regular basis, we would love to hear what you do and how you do it.

Children's Christmas Books
We also invested in some children's Christmas books for the kids at the outset of the season.

One Shining Star: A Christmas Counting Book is a simple, fun book that focuses on all the characters of the Christmas story through counting... we recommend it for the youngest members of your bunch.

My First Story of Christmas was our favorite... a great simple story with all the important elements of the Christmas story, and well illustrated.

This is the Stable is a sing-songy well-written depiction of the Christmas. We appreciated that the characters were all nonwhite. It was a little lacking the emphasis on Jesus... so while we recommend it, we would also recommend having others to balance it.

Away in a Manger is a tiny board book with the famous song... a fun way to sing together. It's very cheap and we recommend it.

Both Missy and Two Square have recommended The Advent Book that we'll likely invest in next Christmas.

We would love to invest in more children's' Christmas books... do you have any recommendations?

Adult/Family Advent/Christmas Books
These are Advent/Christmas books we invested in for us:

Before and After Christmas has a Scripture verse, reflection, and family activity for each day of Advent and Christmas. While we didn't use this book verbatim, It helped us think of various ways to break up the Christmas story, symbols to focus on, etc. Many of the reflections were secular in nature and seemed a bit irrelevant to us to the Christmas story. Also, many of the family activities were for older children. However, we're thankful we invested in this book as it's full of ideas from which we can draw for years.

Jesse Tree Devotions This is another family Advent activity book. On the order of the "Jesse Tree" tradition (newly learned by us this year), each day has a reflection of an Old Testament person in the line of Jesse who was David's father - and therefore in the line of Jesus, or another significant story in the Old Testament that leads to the coming of the Messiah. The last few entries have people from the New Testament that relate to the Christmas story. Each day has a paper ornament of various symbols for kids to color and a paper "Jesse Tree" to glue it on. It seemed like a great way to pull all of Scripture together and a great family activity to do, another year. All the prophecy seemed a bit too complicated to translate to a toddler, so we saved it for another year. If anyone has used the Jesse Tree tradition with preschoolers, we'd love to hear how you kept it simple.

Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas includes lots of essays from various theologians and writers... some were amazing and some were very average. Does anyone have any adult reflection-type book on the Nativity they would recommend?

Thoughts for next year
I think we'll likely do the same things- focusing on different aspects of the nativity each day in various ways... maybe starting a little sooner- assuming we don't come down with awful viruses again next year! I found a very cheap and small Christmas wreathe at an after-Christmas sale. I think I'll use that for an Advent wreath either on our dining table or on the counter nearby. Two Square has a paragraph about this tradition here. If I get inspired with the creative bug, I also might make an Advent calendar like this really cool one. I also would like to include more Christmas songs/hymns into our preparations. Does anyone have any suggestions for Christmas song books or websites and how to include them in our Advent/Christmas practices? This post on Marshall's blog and the string of comments that accompanies it has a great list of Christmas Cd's. We'll use this to enlarge our Christmas CD collection next year.

Okay, I need to end this horrendously long post. Free blogger will probably send me a bill. Feel free to comment with further thoughts, answers to the above embedded questions, or further questions of your own.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Checking In

Several of my faithful commenters and lurkers have asked for more from MakingRoomForMore... so here are a few bullets from the last week or so.... lots of jumbled up thoughts and no good writing. But here you go...

We've been generally having quiet family time around here... as quiet as time can be with a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 yr old... and 2 talkative parents (we can't blame all the noise on the kids). I haven't been in the mood for blog-writing... just in the mood for being around home and in reading many of your blogs. We've enjoyed some bits of time with extended family last weekend and this weekend... and are also thankful we've had this week mostly to ourselves. We've loved the freedom to try out some new things and do them our way.

We infused lots of Advent practices into our Christmas experience... mostly thanks to TwoSquare for bringing up the topic. I'll do a post on that another day- if I'm in the mood and if there is interest. For now, suffice it to say for now that we really enjoyed/are still enjoying preparing and celebrating Christmas over the course of many weeks.

Christmas Eve night, we were talking about how Mary was thankful when God told her she would have God's son Jesus in her belly... Mary's being thankful was something Justin grabbed hold of the last few weeks. Doug explained how he was going to read "Mary's Magnificat..." (however you spell that) or Mary's Song. He started reading it... and Justin asked Doug to sing it since it was a song- a reasonable request. The next few minutes were hilarious. Precious Doug wanted to take Justin's request seriously and sing this VERY long song that has no tune that we know of, of course- it was a bit painful for him. I was laughing hard and trying not to wet myself, and trying not to let Justin know of my laughter.

Christmas day, Doug threw the Frisbee accidentally into Justin's face. Justin became scared of Doug and ran away, hiding behind my car! I comforted him and tried to explain that it was an accident, that Daddy didn't mean to hit him in the face with the Frisbee, but he wouldn't have any of it. Thankfully, he's moved on!

Nathan has decided the last few days that it's fun and curious to pull up in his bed... but when he gets there he gets really scared apparently, not knowing what to do with himself. He erupts in heavy crying. He did this several times throughout last night. We go in to comfort him and put him back down, only to have the situation repeated. Oh the fun. During the day, he has been the easy going guy, loving to play on his own and enjoying exploring all the toys. He's been into kissing lately... and we're all loving it. He's also gotten really fast and sly at poking Justin's eyes. He seems to come out of nowhere and nails him... getting Justin back for all the knocking over!

For those of you who receive our newsletters (all or most of you?) and read of my mishap with Doug's present... here's an update. I commissioned a friend/former student to do a drawing of Doug's favorite Christmas hymn, O Come O Come Emmanuel for his main Christmas present. I was very excited about it and this amazing artist finished it a couple weeks ago. Just before I was to pick it up, I realized his favorite song was really O Holy Night and was disgusted at my mistake... only to learn on Christmas Eve- when Doug and I exchanged our presents, that O Come O Come IS his favorite song after all... O Holy Night is a Close Second. So all is well after all!

Doug and I (he's off this week) have also been getting lots of house projects done. He's been itching to create... so he's been building a really cool frame out of old barn wood for his new drawing (above) and constructing a new coat rack out of that same old barn wood and a bunch of antique door knobs, casters, etc. Many afternoons, if you were to peer into our backyard, you'd see Justin with his tools spread out on his very own "work table..." copying the precise movements of his Daddy at his own work table. It's been so preciously cute! At this very moment, they are digging out a section of the backyard in preparation for Doug's newest project- a garden. Covered in dirt and sweat, I'm not sure which one is feeling more at home.

I've been in the organizing mode... cleaning out junk drawers (I think we have about 5 of those!) and the like. Today I just printed out my new free 2008 calendar for my Notebook.

Okay, I think I'll close up this random post. Happy celebrating, everyone!

My Mom is Coming

She'll leap through the door with smile, with giggle, with vision for the day, with energy of 500 acrobats, with new trucks for the boys, with dark chocolate m&m's.

My mom is coming.

Soon the counters will be cleared of dishes full of uneaten food.

My mom is coming.

The dishwasher will be emptied and refilled to the brim.

My mom is coming.

Fever-reducing medicines will be consolidated. Mail will be sorted. Late bills will be located. Bags of dirty diapers hurled to the outside can.

My mom is coming.

Jackets, trash, used tissues, water bottles, toys will be removed from my kitchen counters. Puzzle pieces will be reunited from under the entertainment center.

My mom is coming.

Diapers will be changed more quickly, the boys' rooms will be swept of dust balls.

My mom is coming.

The boys will be happier by her Teflon presence. They'll laugh more, cry less, their noses will probably even respond by drying up.

My mom is coming.

I'll get a nap, a cooked meal, hear about how I did this to her during days of old.

My mom is coming.

I'll run around less, sit more, get frustrated less, laugh more.

My mom is coming.

My mom is coming, my mom is coming, my mom is coming!!

The Attractiveness of Living in My Own Whiny Head

I was inspired by dear friend Diane to take a few minutes of the grace of a dual nap time to write a bit of my mommy struggles today.

Like Diane shared in her post, I too am having a stretch of circumstancially crummy days. The boys collectively have had colds, snotty noses and eyes (lovely), croup, sleepless nights, sleepless naps, fussiness beyond measure, etc. We've watched more videos in this house the past 2 days then the last 6 months combined. And I'm paying the price with more fussiness.

There have been moments when I have risen to the occasion. With a heart full of compassion, I have embraced these sweet, tired, pitiful, and sickly boys. I've soaked in the snuggles, knowing these needy-Mommy moments won't last forever. I've sprinted to them in the middle of the night to assure the confused minds and wipe their salty tears. Moments when I've said "yes" to them more than I've said "no."

And there are the ugly moments. There are the moments when I'm more focused on myself and how they have ruined my plan for the day. Moments when I think of all the things I haven't been able to get done. Moments when I hang their disobedience in shame over their heads, not letting it go instantaneously as Christ does for me. When I speak to them with harsh tone and words.

And so, as nap time is once again interrupted with the coughs of a little boy, and now both, I realize that I'm at the end of my Mommy rope. My ability to serve unselfishly and with compassion is no longer here. It is now that I realize I've been serving with my own strength and not asking for and relying on the Lord for that ability to love these precious boys through me. I can repent of putting myself first, making an idol of my own comfort. I can ask the Lord to forgive and receive that never-ending forgiveness. I can choose to believe Him... and ask for Him to come and be the Lover through me.

So, why don't I? What is so attractive to me about staying in whiny, ME mode? Why don't I run towards the One who assures me time and time again that He is really present, really caring, really Sovereign, really unconditional in the giving of His love and strength?

The Brothers' Love

Yesterday, I was chatting with Justin about how someday he might have more brothers and/or sisters (not preggers right now, just making conversation with my toddler). It went something like this:

me "Justin, isn't it so fun and special to have Nathan as your brother?"

Justin "Yeah."

me "Someday, you might have another brother or sister. Wouldn't that be great?"

Justin "Yeah. (insert concerned, thoughtful look) Would Nathan still be here then, too?"

Sweet Justin was only excited about the possibility of future sibling(s) if Nathan was included in the mix. I guess he thought I meant we'd have another sibling, as in... trade out Nathan for another baby. Oh, the sad thought!

These boys keep falling in love with each other more and more and I'm so grateful. They bless each other just by being in each others' lives.

Book Giveaway

Three posts in 2 days... I know, not like me. But wanted you guys to have the chance to get a free book.

TwoSquareMeals is hosting a book giveaway for Advent. We just ordered the book last week per her recommendation, so we can't apply for the drawing- ahh shucks. More chances for you to win! She's giving this book away... so if you'd like to try for it, simply post a comment on this post... make sure you provide her with your email address if it's not already on your blog, if you have one. She's drawing them out of a hat. Maybe you'll win the book!

Thanks for being generous with something that blessed you, TwoSquare!

And if you haven't checked it out yet, TwoSquare has a great blog... her posts have a variety of topics... Mommy issues, social justice, spiritual parenting issues, humorous/endearing memories with her kids, music, literature, and more. We used to be in a mentoring relationship... so I wish I could take the credit for all that she knows and does. However, she is yet another example of how the teacher has become the student. Most of my favorite mentoring relationships have turned upside down like that!

Hope one of you wins the book!